HILARIOUS JOKES AND QUOTES TO LAUGH YOUR BLUES AWAY



A daily dose of hilarious jokes and quotes is better than an apple a day.

Life is so short and we tend to spend so much of our time either working, studying or worrying about

this or that.

Please take the time to laugh. We have all heard it before that stress kills.

So stay around awhile and enjoy these hilarious jokes and quotes, and even the funny stupid quotes.

Start and finish your day smiling; everyone will like you more.

TRY TO MAKE THE WORLD LAUGH; IT ALREADY HAS ENOUGH TO CRY ABOUT.




Winston Churchill quotes

Yes madam, I am drunk. But in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

(Repling to Lady Astor's comment "Sir, you are drunk!"}

LADY ASTOR: Winston, if you were my husband, I should flavour your coffee with poison.

CHURCHILL: Madam, if I were your husband, I should drink it.

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A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity;

an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

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I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us.

Pigs treat us as equals.

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Benjamin Franklin quotes

To find out a girl's faults, praise her to her friends.

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Wise men don't need advice.

Fools won't take it.

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Life's tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late.

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Most fools think they are only ignorant.

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Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.

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Ronald Reagan quotes

Politics is not a bad profession.

If you succeed there are many rewards,

if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book.

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Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession.

I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

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Groucho Marx

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

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Arab Curse

May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits.

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E.C. McKenzie from his book 14,000 Quips & Quotes

Man is the only animal that laughs, but when you look at some people,

it’s hard to understand how some animals keep from laughing.

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Those that can laugh at trouble must be having a hilarious time nowadays.

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Don’t be afraid to ask dumb questions,

they’re easier to handle than dumb mistakes.

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Groucho Marx

He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot,

but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.

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Stupid Moron Joke

The moron came home from the first day on the job.

His wife noticed that he was looking a little peaked and asked, “Honey, are you feeling all right?”

”Not really,” he replied. “I’m nauseous from sitting backward on the train.”

”Poor dear,” she said. “Why didn’t you ask the guy sitting across from you to switch seats?”

”I couldn’t,” the moron replied. “There was no one there.”

Posted in Funny and Stupid People Jokes | November 12, 2006

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Want to share your hilarious jokes and quotes ? Please keep them clean


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Some more hilarious jokes and quotes, and stupid jokes for you to enjoy.

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STUPID JOKES

You are so stupid that when you were locked in the bathroom you peed your pants.

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You are so stupid that you tried to drown a fish.

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You are so stupid that when you heard about the Superbowl you bought a spoon.

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You are so stupid that you bought a puzzle, thought it was broken and took it back.



You see --don't you feel much better now that you read these funny quotations?

We all need to slow down a bit and enjoy the little things in life.

Jokes and funny quotes are some of life's little things-- that can make such a big difference in our daily lives.

Please learn to laugh more and worry less.



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